The next time you are in a park and someone in running clothes asks to use your cellphone to call their husband because that person just ran 3 miles to a soccer field to see her daughter play a game and since no one was there and she had just biked 24 miles and didn’t want to run all the way home and potentially miss the game and she needs to find out where the game is, don’t look at her like she has just asked you to pay her mortgage or to give her your left kidney, just smile and say sure and hand over your phone. You may even go so far as to offer her a ride, but I realize that may be asking way too much from society.
The next time you run into an acquaintance who is still in treatment for cancer don’t mention every other person on the planet that you know with cancer and how every other person on the planet that you know with cancer just “sailed” though chemo and looks “wonderful” and has a “fabulous attitude” because even though that all may be very true and very inspiring to the few left on earth without cancer it is somewhat irritating to those of us who do because although you are trying to be nice and supportive and sympathetic it’s almost like saying “Oh, Jane just sailed through that car crash she was in last month” because the truth is no one sails through chemo, it is a horrific, brutal shock to your system that really truly sucks while you are in it. Yes people recover from it and come through, just like a car crash, but the memory will always remain and while they are “healing” nicely, they didn’t “sail” through anything. More like they rowed and paddled their way through chemo probably having to stop and bail the boat a few hundred times.
So maybe this Tamoxifen has made me a little irritable. Do you think? Or maybe I have moved out of my “I have cancer and might die so the world is a wonderful place and everyone loves me so I should appreciate every minute” mode. Maybe that’s it and maybe that’s fine. That is a tough attitude to keep up for too long. Completely unrealistic and frankly exhausting. But I do feel better getting it off my chest.
Anyway, if you have continued reading all that drivel you now get actual information.
I will be going in Thursday to have two lumps under my arm surgically removed by my favorite surgeon,Dr. Christian. He will send my lumps to be checked by the lab but hopefully they are just cysts. It will be done under local anesthesia which is good in the fact that general anesthesia is tough on the body but the thought of that needle going in my armpit makes my toes curl. So I won’t think about it. I will let you all know the results. I am going to have to get in copious amounts of biking and swimming before the procedure since I will be out of commission for a little while, but I will try to check in here with you all. I’ll try not to be so irritable next time.