I met with my cardiologist this week.  My friend Gina came with me and said he looked like a cross between my 12 year old son Aidan and Pete Yorn (singer/songwriter for those who may not know). Anyway he’s cute in a way that my high school boyfriend was cute, but smarter…much smarter…and better dressed. He’s probably a better kisser too. Oh, sorry. Anyway, he said that these tests — echocardiograms and such — are open to much interpretation by the reader.  He said that he looked at my last 2 tests side by side and with his trained eye couldn’t see a big difference.  This test had said my ejection fraction was 45%…the last one said 55%. Anything below 50% is a problem in their book.

Now it is really just a mater of the heart guy meeting with the onco girl and deciding the best course of action for me– the cancer lady. They must decide which effects outweigh which benefits, etc. etc.

Whatever.

That is my new answer for everything.  When people ask how I am, that’s what I say.

“I am Whatever.”  

No one really knows yet how all this chemo effects your heart.  Herceptin is a relatively new drug and they do realize that it is highly heart toxic, they aren’t quite sure what long lasting effects it will have on the heart.  So it’s kind of a guessing game at this point.  My cancer has not yet (and hopefully will not ever) metastasized so they could take me off the Herceptin.  But if it does show up in my bones or liver or lungs then they will have to put me back on it.

Cardio-boy did say that if the oncologist decides to put me back on Herceptin then he wants me to take a Beta-Blocker for my heart.  It’s a heart med that I guess the whole world is on in some form or another.  Yup, just keep giving me pills.  A year ago I wouldn’t even take an Advil, now I am a walking pharmacy.

Whatever.

No sense worrying about it now.  Decisions will be made on December 17th.  Until then, I will take my COQ-10 which is a supplement that I had read about which boosts heart function (although the heart  doctors don’t recommend it, my oncologist told me it couldn’t hurt).  I am signed up for a 5 mile race on Thanksgiving morning and a 5k on December 13th…so my heart is going to have to hold out until after those races.

May I just say too that I am so thankful to have been invited to Blog on the mother’s with cancer site.  I have been corresponding with these women from all over the map; and they have some wonderful insights.